Last month I turned 26. Surprisingly, not that big of a turmoil than last year when I was turning 25, the latter accompanied with sadness, uncertainty and grief for my disappearing youth!
What follows is something that could be perceived as gibberish, yet stands as evaluation of my personal past year. If not interested please scroll down fast to the music mix - it's way more fun!
Let me tell you, it feels quite interesting to be turning 26. I have already accepted that I'm not a "young girl" anymore, yet I look forward to growing up and learning more.
This year a lot of things were different. For once, I didn't make a big party for the occasion (people who know me witnessed last year's horrific-drunken-party-that-ended-at-2am-because-we-are-wack-with-alcohol). Instead, I spent quality time with different important people in my life. As for presents - I didn't want clothes/perfume/shoes as previous years. Instead I opted for a procedure at the dentist. The night before I didn't grief my receding youth over whiskey, instead I took a hot shower, read a book and went to bed early.
See, I connect getting older with growing calmer. Unlike previous years I finally see a consistent life path that I should embark on & follow. I see changes in my professional development, as well as my personal life. On one side, I have become more rational, patient, empathetic and caring. On the other side, I have become almost completely immuned to bullshit and have started selecting the people I devote to more carefully. Due to grave events that I became witness to in the passing year, I have re-evaluated my goals and values. I have realised the eminent role that death plays in our lives - while it's inevitable, it is actually eye opening - we are not eternal & we have a due date - it's of vital importance what we will make of the time we have here. While I realise it sounds trivial and kind of boring, if you think about it, we know it, yet we act like it's a nonexistent fact - we go about our lives like we have all the time in the world. Yet we don't. In light of this, I have managed to figure out what would be the Thing that makes my life meaningful and that is - to create. Creating as in introducing things in all sorts of life - methodics, connections, mechanisms, change. As long as I follow through with that, I am a happy person (be it an older, 26th version of it).
My birthday also shed a light to how changed my life was in the past year. One can truly see himself if he uses the others as a mirror. This year I noticed a change in the wishes friends and acquaintances gave to me. There were plenty of "you are doing a good job.. keep doing what you do.. you are on the right path.. you deserve it" which left me with goosebumps, reading the messages over and over again. Thank you, kind people.
MY FIRST MIX
I have always wanted to do something with music. Fun fact: both of my parents are musicians, yet my mother never wanted to make me study something with music, like her parents forced her to. Nevertheless, music is my life companion. I go through a large amount of music daily and yet I have never really had the confidence (and time), up until now, to actually create something as simple as mix. With the awesome help of GarageBand, and Mixcloud, I got together a mix which is all about love. It consists mostly of new R&B songs, but I had to include some classics as well. Lookout for BJ Chicago the Kid's cover of Aaliyah's "One In A Million". Check it out, let me know what you think!
"Love takes us on a ride through our emotions.
13 songs to make this journey."